New Tattoos for Me and Dad :)

I’ve talked about my love of tattoos before and mentioned them a few times but I’ve not posted anything about them since my Realism Elephant Tattoo. Well, a lot has changed since that post and a lot of work has been completed on both myself and Dad so I thought I would post about them (yes there are quite a few!). All I am going to say is if you like tattoos then check out these incredible pieces.

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

“The sucky bit: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. As Mr H said, “You will always be in a losing battle with your disease”. I know that I will never win and I know that I will always lose. I know my body will get worse while my brain stays the same. I know my determination and fight will keep me strong every second of every day that I can be, but I know that it will only take me so far. I have had this condition since birth and I have lived with the effects of it since then and felt the deterioration that goes with age.  I have seen what it has done to me, my family and friends and others with the same thing, I have felt it. But still I put a smile on my face and I hide my pain underneath it. I hide my sorrow for all the things I wish I could do and will never be able to no matter how hard I try.”

Breasts: Bilateral Mastopexy

On Tuesday 13th November I underwent a bilateral mastopexy operation (or breast uplift to most of us). This operation was the second phase of the breast surgery I needed because of my combination of 11-year-old breast implants and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. After having to have my implants out 4 months ago I was left with what I can only call ‘granny boobs’, but this operation has completely changed that.

It’s taken me a while to write this post because I’ve been recovering and managing the pain, trying to adjust to my boobs and because of something my surgeon said, which I’m still trying to get my head around.

Breasts: Breast Implant Removal Surgery

On Tuesday 24th July I had my breast implants removed, the first of either two or three operations. I’d been incredibly nervous in the run-up to the operation for a lot of reasons. Having the operation brought up more challenges than I had expected to face, some I hadn’t even thought of, some I had expected but I now realise I wasn’t mentally prepared for and some that I am slowly but surely adjusting to.

Breasts: Private Consultant Appointments

Now that I’m not looking after mom I’ve turned my attention back to my own health. I finally booked an appointment on the 7th June to see Mr H, the breast surgeon that Z recommended me to. Before my appointment, I was very nervous about going to see him as I had a hunch that things wouldn’t go as easily and smoothly as I’d have liked them to. As per usual my hunch was right and typically (thanks EDS) things are far more complicated than I’d hoped!

Mom’s Cancer: The End

Today, Thursday 26th April, at 17:55 my mother lost her battle with pancreatic cancer after a challenging 9 months.

Mom’s Cancer: Nearing The End

I am writing this while I am sat in a private side room in Countess Mountbatten Hospice. It’s already taken me a few days to get this all down and the weather has gone from cold and not particularly nice, to bright sunshine and blue skies, just as mom likes it. The last few days have been a living hell, that’s the only accurate description I can give.

Mom’s Cancer: A Beautiful Message To Mom From 4,500 Miles Away

Around 14:00 on Saturday, only a few hours after we had been given some difficult news, dad handed me moms phone to show me something. I took the phone and started to read. From around 4,500 miles away one of my best friends from my teenage years managed to bring some light to my family during a very difficult time and made us smile and laugh. Something we have struggled to do for quite a long time.

Mom’s Cancer: I Broke Down

Today was the first time I have cried since just after mom got diagnosed. I feel it is important for me to write this while it all still feels fresh because it wasn’t something sad that triggered me to cry, it was something sadly special.

Mom’s Cancer: Tuesday 3rd & Wednesday 4th April: Days, Maybe A Couple Of Weeks

I hadn’t heard anything from mom all morning so I called the hospital for an update. The nurse didn’t realise what the consequences were by telling me what she did. Emotionally I am numb and I feel like a robot. Nothing has sunk in yet. I know what we have been told and I am having to try and process it in the best and only way that I can.