On Tuesday 13th November I underwent a bilateral mastopexy operation (or breast uplift to most of us). This operation was the second phase of the breast surgery I needed because of my combination of 11-year-old breast implants and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. After having to have my implants out 4 months ago I was left with what I can only call ‘granny boobs’, but this operation has completely changed that.
It’s taken me a while to write this post because I’ve been recovering and managing the pain, trying to adjust to my boobs and because of something my surgeon said, which I’m still trying to get my head around.
When I had my implants taken out I knew roughly what I would be left with, and to be honest I was right. My breasts sagged and from the side, the place where my boobs should’ve sat was flat and the breast tissue hung lower down my front than it should have. The people that saw my boobs said they weren’t that bad or as bad as they had expected them to be, but as much as that was comforting it was hard to accept as it’s impossible to know what they would have been thinking and it’s nearly impossible to accurately judge someone else’s body. When I had a bra on, which was usually a sports bra, I had a good amount of breast tissue. When I wore a bra with underwiring I had to wear a thin sports bra on top as my breast tissue didn’t sit firmly in the cup, but rather like a stocking filled with sand. I didn’t let it bother me as I knew it was only for about 4 months and then everything would change.
From the multiple conversations I had with my surgeon in the run-up to the mastopexy, I knew there was a high chance that I could lose between half a cup and a cup worth of size. With that in mind, the option of further implants at a later date was still a potential.
I was really nervous about what my boobs would look like after the mastopexy so in the week running up to the surgery I looked on the realself. website which I have been onto before. I was able to look up real stories and pictures of women that had undergone breast surgery, specifically uplifts, and I was able to filter the age of the patients that I was looking at. To begin with, I didn’t filter by age and just looked at cases from all age groups, mainly because my boobs looked much older than the 30 something category that I fitted in and I wanted to get a realistic idea of what I could end up with. I know that none of the patients I was looking at have EDS but I just felt that I needed some sort of comfort before having the surgery. Either way, I had to have the operation because I needed it, but something about looking at other women’s stories made me feel a lot calmer about everything.
On the morning of the operation, my biggest concern was my PTSD as it was causing me problems before we’d even left the house because I couldn’t drink anything. I discussed my concerns with all of the team once we were at the hospital and they said they would do everything possible to help me manage it. I only saw my anaesthetist for a few minutes because everything was the same as it was for my last operation and so nothing needed to change. Seeing Mr H before my operation was definitely different to how it was last time and it involved an awful lot more drawing. Mr H spent a lot of time making measurements, drawing lines, re-measuring and making sure that he everything drawn out accurately ready for surgery. The lines on the right side of this picture are basically what I had drawn on me.
I was first down to the operating theatre. I have no idea how long I was in surgery as I didn’t keep track of time but I know that the operation was due to be approximately 3 1/2 hours long and I think it was about that it the end. When I woke up I had (the dreaded) drains coming out from underneath the outside of each breast. I remember the drains from having my implants put in and I hated it when they were removed. I was incredibly happy when I didn’t have to have them for my last operation but knew they would (unfortunately) be inevitable for this one.
I was wearing the sports bra that I bought for my implant removal surgery but again found it incredibly uncomfortable. Last time I couldn’t wear it because it was too small where my boobs were too soft and the wrong shape for the style of the bra. This time I think where my boobs were very round and swollen the pressure of the bra on the soreness of the surgery was too uncomfortable and didn’t feel as supportive as the other bras I had bought. When I changed into one of my other bras (I remembered to take 3 with me this time) I was roughly able to see what my boobs looked like. I could see the general shape of each breast but 90% of my boobs were covered in surgical tape which was covering the incisions and stitches. From what I could see, and taking into consideration the swelling, I hadn’t lost any size (which Mr H later confirmed).
On my admission paperwork it said that I might have to stay up to 3 nights, but as usual, there was no way I could handle that, I dreaded the thought of having to stay just one night. Because I had drains in I had to stay overnight, even though there was basically nothing in them, and for once I was ok with it. I managed my PTSD which could have been bad for the first few hours after getting back to my room but with help from Dad and taking my time I managed to get through it all without having a breakdown. The hardest parts about the operation were having to carry the drains with me to the bathroom and finding somewhere to put them while I did things, and not being able to move my arms very well. Thankfully the arm thing was no way near as bad as it was when I had my implants put in as I couldn’t even lift my arms for about 2 weeks after that operation, whereas this time I was just sore. I managed to get some sleep as I remembered to take my neck pillow and other bits to help me sleep upright and after a few hours sleep it was morning and would soon be home time.
Dad arrived about 10 as we had agreed and as usual, I had a smooth, quick discharge. Once I was home it was a case of resting for the first few days, trying to get some sleep (which was insanely difficult) and doing as I was told and resting. It only took a few days before I couldn’t take it any more and I was back up and doing bits, more than I should’ve been, but I couldn’t take my own thoughts and not being able to do bits anymore.
A week later on Tuesday 20th I had a very quick check up with the nurse, and today (2 weeks later) I went back to have my tape removed and my stitches cut. Having the tape removed wasn’t too bad, even though it was coming directly off incisions, but having a few of the stitch knots cut HURT. Of all of the ones that had to be trimmed the ones on the outer underside hurt the most, and one, in particular, was horrid. Some of the tape was replaced but only a minimal amount in comparison. I have been tender for the rest of the day and I am sure I will be for a little while longer but the incision marks look amazing already. The main and best bit is that I can now have a proper shower and wash my hair! I didn’t have one today as I wasn’t brave enough after the soreness from the stitch snipping so I am very much looking forward to one tomorrow.
I got to see my boobs properly today and it gave me a chance to have an opinion about the result (so far). I know that things have to settle and that will take time, especially as I am only 2 weeks in but at least I got to have a look. Overall I a really happy with what Mr H has done. The size and shape and great and the incisions do look incredible. At the moment there is one thing that I am not ‘happy’ with but for the time being I don’t want to focus on it as it may change over time. At the end of the day, I am far, far happier now than I was before my implants were removed (other than the residual pain of course).
I have another 4 weeks in sports bras but I have already bought myself a few nice bras from Ann Summers and Victoria’s Secret, but only because it was black Friday and they were much cheaper than normal, I just have to wait to wear them. Technically my first day in a normal bra will be Christmas Day, ready to wear with my Christmas Day dress.
Over the last 11 or so years, my boobs have changed more than I could ever have imagined. Before I had my breast implants done, from what I remember I was a 30D; after my implants, I was a 32F; before my implants were removed I wore a 34G but had been measured as a 32H; now I am wearing a 34E. Where I stand at the moment, which is 2 weeks after the operation, I am happy with my size and won’t be considering implants. The only reason I would consider implants at a later date is if my breasts drastically change during the months following the healing period, but ideally, I would like to avoid having more implants.
I don’t want to have to go through all of this again in another 10 years time. I know that my breasts will relapse because of my EDS and I don’t want to make it worse or happen any sooner for the sake of implants if they aren’t vital for me (personally). This entire thing has put me through so much emotionally, psychologically and physically that it’s not something I really want to have to experience again.
The sucky bit: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. As Mr H said, “You will always be in a losing battle with your disease”. I know that I will never win and I know that I will always lose. I know my body will get worse while my brain stays the same. I know my determination and fight will keep me strong every second of every day that I can be, but I know that it will only take me so far. I have had this condition since birth and I have lived with the effects of it since then and felt the deterioration that goes with age. I have seen what it has done to me, my family and friends and others with the same thing, I have felt it. But still I put a smile on my face and I hide my pain underneath it. I hide my sorrow for all the things I wish I could do and will never be able to no matter how hard I try.
I know all of those things, but to still be told the same thing from a plastic surgeon, and that my boobs will relapse because of the EDS was hard to hear. It was hard to hear the phrase ‘disease’ rather than ‘condition’. This is something I’m not going to continue to write about here as I don’t feel I can yet.
arbezlife 
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